Lets take a break from the story and feel my feelings

“No amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of anxiety can change the future”

My heart feels heavy today. For the last ten days for the first times in a year I have woken up and have been thankful to wake up. But today my heart is heavy. Tomorrow I hope I wake up and be thankful to wake, but I fear it will not. I will never be free of him, I will never be free of what happened, I will never be free of my pain.

Why does it not end? how come he still manages to sabotage me. Haven’t you taken enough from me? you took my baby, you took my light, you took my reputation, you took my happiness. But yet you still tell lies about me, you say I’m sleeping with other members of staff, you say I’m angry and told on you for what a child said.

You must remember; I’m above you and your manipulation. You can not control me, you can not take anything more off me. You  and I are not equals. Once you mature and reflect on this whole situation I hope you are ashamed of yourself. At all times I have chosen to handle this situation with grace, courage and class.

“You may have taken my light but I have learnt to glow in the dark”

But my heart is still heavy, what is it about me that you have treated me this way? I want it to end but know it wont, the only way out is death………………

My heart is so heavy

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